Texting Wonders
by TigerDemonOwnz
Summary: Welcome to wonderful world of texting. Come and join, Naruto and friends on there wonderful wonderful journey of typos, wrong numbers, and so much more. Don't judge my summary ill fix it later.
1. Fuck, Itachi?

**Let me tell you this: I do not, repeat do not own Naruto. If I did then I wound make everybody dream come true. I would get sasunaru side story, and everyone can get their favorite paring side story. YAY!**

**Warning: language, graphic pictures – use your imagination - , boyxboy, boyxgirl, (maybe) girlxgirl – like I said maybe.**

**Decipher: **

Naruto = "Teme"

_Sasuke = "Dobe"_

Itachi = "Yes"

**Now everyone welcome to…..**

* * *

><p>…<strong>..x…..Texting Wonders…..x…..<strong>

**Fuck. Itachi?**

* * *

><p>Fuck Sasuke. You know how horny you're making me. I can't wait to have that big 8in dick in me tonight. I'm going to ride that dick all night long.<p>

My Naruto, I didn't know Sasuke had a 'big dick'. But let me tell you mines is bigger.

Wait. WHAT.

Why you so surprise, this is my number.

Fuck. Itachi?

Yes

Fuck. I didn't mean to, it was meant…for….

My little brother

…Umm….Yes…..

Well ill tell you this. Have fun 'riding; sasuke. Goodnight Naruto

…Fuck me

That's Sasuke's job

-.-

* * *

><p>SASUKE<p>

_What?_

You. I. Fuck. I sent Itachi the wrong message.

_I told you I didn't want to sext dobe._

Fuck off teme

_If you're done complaining. I'm going to sleep._

No don't go to sleep

_Goodnight Naruto._

Sasuke

Sasuke

Sasuke

SASUKE

GET UP YOU FUCKING TEME. DELETE THE MESSAGE OFF HIS PHONE.

SASUKE~~ PLEASE~

U KNOW WHAT. YOU AINT GETTING NO MORE ASS

…_..I'll see what I can do_

Thank you. I love you sasuke.

_Goodnight Naruto._


	2. Dang Sasuke

**Let me tell you this: I do not, repeat do not own Naruto. If I did then I would make everybody dream come true. I would get sasunaru side story, and everyone can get their favorite paring side story. YAY!**

**Warning: language, graphic content, adult content aka sexual content, graphic pictures – use your imagination - , boyxboy, boyxgirl, (maybe) girlxgirl – like I said maybe.**

**Decipher: **

Sasuke = "Huh"

_Kurama = "LOL"_

*Sasuke phone*

_*Kurama phone*_

**Now everyone welcome back to…..**

* * *

><p>…<strong>..x…..Texting Wonders…..x…..<strong>

**Dang Sasuke**

* * *

><p>Naruto<p>

_*Text message vibrate*_

I'm horny, you want to see the picture I have for you

_*Text message vibrate*_

*Takes picture*

(Picture sending)

_*Text message vibrate*_

_(Receives picture)_

_(Opens picture)_

_Dang Sasuke. _

_LMFAO_

_I didn't know you was that flexible, no wonder Naruto likes you so much_

_I would to _

_Shit_

_This is a blessing from god_

….

DF

Who is this?

_Kurama_

Kurama? How you get my number.

_Wrong sir. _

What?

_You been had my number_

_You go it last night, from Naruto. So I could delete that message._

_Remember_

* * *

><p>*Text message flashback*<p>

Hello?

_Hello?_

Is this Kurama?

_Yes?_

_Who the hell is this?_

Sasuke

_Oh, wassup little uchiha, how you get my number?_

Naruto

_Oh_

Can you do something for me?

_Ummmm…..Maybe _

_Is it impossible to do?_

Idk

It's for Naruto

_Okay_

_Then it's possible_

_So how can I be at your service_

Can you go on Itachi phone and delete a certain message Naruto sent him on accident

_Awww aren't you a sweet uchiha_

_I thought all of yall was, stuck up, rich, selfish, stick up the ass bastards_

_But no, I like you little uchiha, I like you a lot_

Ummm ok…..

_Ok imma delete it_

_Hold on _

_Ok _

_I deleted the message_

O.o…

_I know that's y they call me the Kyuubi _

Uh huh okay

Good night

_Nite little uchiha_

*Text message flashback end*

* * *

><p>Ok<p>

Can you delete the picture?

_I'll think about it little uchiha_

_I might have to keep it_

DELETE IT

_OK OK_

_Since you 'asked so nicely'_

Ok

Goodbye

_Bye little uchiha_

_But really_

_I_

_Did not_

_Know_

_You could do a split like that._

_Shoot_

_I might need to change your name on my phone from little uchiha _

_To splits_

…...

_Anyway _

_Bye splits_

...You're an idiot...

* * *

><p><strong>Hmmm should I post another chapter today or wait tomorrow .<strong>

**What do you guys want?**


	3. Double Stuf Orgasm?

**Let me tell you this: I do not, repeat do not own Naruto. If I did then I would make everybody dream come true. I would get sasunaru side story, and everyone can get their favorite paring side story. YAY!**

**Warning: language, graphic content, adult content aka sexual content, graphic pictures – use your imagination - , boyxboy, boyxgirl, (maybe) girlxgirl – like I said maybe.**

**Decipher: **

Sasuke = "Dobe"

_Itachi = "Hn"_

**Now everyone welcome back to…..**

* * *

><p>…<strong>..x…..Texting Wonders…..x…..<strong>

**Double Stuf Orgasm?**

* * *

><p>Itachiiii<p>

You need to come home

NOW!

_Why_

I just had the best double stuf orgasm ever

_You're telling me this because_

Because you need an orgasm too

_I don't do incest_

WTF? What you talking about?

_You just told me that I need to have an orgasm _

_And you said, you had a double stuf orgasm_

OREO!

I TYPE OREO! I SWEAR TO BILLY BOB I DID!

_I'm glad we cleared that up _

...

But for real you need some double stuf Oreos

These shits are good, I can't stop eating them

_*send thumb up emoji*_

_Good to know, because their mines_

* * *

><p><strong>Who would you like to see next?<strong>

**Naruto and Kushina**

**Sasuke and Fugaku**


	4. The What?

**Let me tell you this: I do not, repeat do not own Naruto. If I did then I would make everybody dream come true. I would get sasunaru side story, and everyone can get their favorite paring side story. YAY!**

**Warning: language, graphic content, adult content aka sexual content, graphic pictures – use your imagination - , boyxboy, boyxgirl, (maybe) girlxgirl – like I said maybe.**

**Decipher: **

Sasuke = "Dobe"

_Fugaku = "Sasuke"_

**Now everyone welcome back to…..**

…**..x…..Texting Wonders…..x…..**

**The What?**

Dad

_Yes_

I heard from Itachi that mom got stung by some bees in her garden

_Yes she did_

She at the hospital now

_No _

Why

_Because she had to get the deep penis_

The what?

_I had to eject her with the Epic Penis_

The Epic Penis?

The fuck dad, eww. No one wants to hear about that.

_Ugh. For the dear lord sake_

_The Epi Pen. Jesus._

You should have said that the first time dad

_It's not my fault_

Mhm. Okay dad.

_Sasuke_

What

_Shut up_

Okay…..

…..

Hehe...Epic Penis

_Ughh….*Rubs face*_


	5. That Uchiha Dick

**Let me tell you this: I do not, repeat do not own Naruto. If I did then I would make everybody dream come true. I would get sasunaru side story, and everyone can get their favorite paring side story. YAY!**

**Warning: language, graphic content, adult content aka sexual content, graphic pictures – use your imagination - , boyxboy, boyxgirl, (maybe) girlxgirl – like I said maybe.**

**Decipher: **

Naruto = "Teme"

*Naruto phone*

_Sasuke = "Dobe"_

Minato = "Um"

_Kurama = "LOL"_

**Now everyone welcome back to…..**

* * *

><p>…<strong>..x…..Texting Wonders…..x…..<strong>

**That Uchiha Dick**

* * *

><p>(Receives picture)<p>

(Opens picture)

Mmmm Sasuke I'm on my way

_Dobe you better hurry. I'm not going to stay hard for long._

Bae I'm coming. Let me get in my car.

*Text message beep*

Hold on let me text you later it's my dad

_Ok. Bring the lube._

Will do, bye, love you teme

_Love you to dobe, drive safe_

* * *

><p>*Text message beep*<p>

Fugaku, I'm on my way to the office

I got the lube in my pocket, and I'm all stretch for you.

Wtf dad

Huh. Fugaku?

No. This is your 17 year old son.

Shit. You saw that, fuck.

Hell yeah. I saw. I saw everything.

Naruto…

Don't expect for me to delete it either. I'm bout to blackmail the hell outta you.

….Damn… Naruto, don't tell your mother

I ain't gonna tell

But, I do expect a brand new 2015 Camaro in the drive thru tomorrow morning, an xbox one, a ps4, and a brand new flat screen tv.

For the tv. I don't want that little shit. I want that big shit that's in Kurama's room.

If you get these things, I wont tell mom

Got it.

Got it. Anything else.

Nope

Hey can I send this to Kurama

What

Can I sent this to Kurama

NO NARUTO

Okay then, you don't have to say it like that

Sheesh

Naruto *sighs* I'll see you at home

* * *

><p>(Copy and paste: Fugaku, I'm on my way to office. I got the lube in my pocket, and I'm all stretch for you.)<p>

(Sends to Kurama)

*Text message beep*

_Naruto. What the hell is this?_

It's not mines. Its dads. Lol.

_L__MFAO. Dad is into that Uchiha dick too._

_Goooot damn. _

So at least we know why he comes home limping.

_Mhmm. _

_And he say the same lame ass excuse all the time, that mom still believes._

You see what happen was…Me and Fugaku we got into a fight again, and he body slammed me.

_That's the one. *Claps while nodding up and down* His favorite line. _

_LOL_

_I bet he did get slammed_

That ass is what got slammed

Fugaku tore that ass up

_ROFL *Air high five*_

*Air high five back*

_Why we laughing about this_

Because it's funny, duh

_Lol_

_Do dad know you sent this to me_

No

_You sly son of a bitch_

*Rubs back of head*

I learned from the best aniki

_*Sends crying emoji*_

_I'm so proud of you otouto_

I'm proud of me to aniki

m=^,-,^=m

* * *

><p><strong>What would you like to see next?<strong>

**Remember to review so I can be happy and make super funny chapters for you guys. I'll give you cookies. If you favorite and follow the story I ill give out brownies and hugs to everyone. **

**Hehe, I hope everyone have a nice day or night. **

**And if you happen to into Bleach also, please go on my profile and read the important information.**

**Byeeeeee**


	6. That Uzumaki-Namikaze Dick

**Let me tell you this: I do not, repeat do not own Naruto. If I did then I would make everybody dream come true. I would get sasunaru side story, and everyone can get their favorite paring side story. YAY!**

**Warning: language, graphic content, adult content aka sexual content, graphic pictures – use your imagination - , boyxboy, boyxgirl, (maybe) girlxgirl – like I said maybe.**

**Decipher: **

Naruto = "Teme"

*Naruto phone*

_Kurama = "LOL"_

Fugaku = "Hn"

*Fugaku phone*

_Sasuke= "Dobe"_

**Now everyone welcome back to…..**

* * *

><p>…<strong>..x…..Texting Wonders…..x…..<strong>

**That Uzumaki-Namikaze Dick**

* * *

><p>Hey Kurama I think we should interrogate a certain uchiha<p>

_That Uchiha is?_

Fugaku Uchiha

_Oooh yes, he will do nicely *Smirks*_

*Rubs hands evilly*

Muwahaha

_I love it when you get naughty, it's sexy _

_*Sends wink face and kiss face emoji*_

Pervert

_It's not my fault, my brother is one hell of a babe_

*Sends blushing emoji*

_Naruto_

_Did you know that Sasuke blessed?_

Blessed?

_Yes blessed_

_Got the most blessed ed gift ever_

Gift?

_Mhm. Oh dear lord blessed him with supuritto_

The splits?

_Yes Kami, that's a gift_

_I'll let splits ride my dick any time_

_Mmmm yeah _

….

Stop talking about my boyfriend, you pervert

Wait. How do you even know about that?

_Umm…well you see what happen was …._

Uuh I don't wanna know

_Good cause I don't wanna tell_

…_.._

_Time to change the subject_

_Time to _

_Try to interrogate Fugaku-Kun a go_

* * *

><p>*Text message whistle*<p>

_Dobe, I don't even know why you want my dad number_

Teme I told you it's for an emergency

_You're sure_

Yes im positive

When am I ever wrong

Nevermind

Don't answer that

_(Sends number)_

_Here_

You're the best teme

_*Smirks* I know_

_Night_

Nite, love u

_Love you to_

* * *

><p><span>*Text message vibrate*<span>

Fugaku-san

Who is this?

Someone not important to you

I will call the police on you

I wouldn't do that if I was you, since I know your little secret

Secret? What secret?

Secret about a certain, blond

Blond? I don't know any blond?

You're sure Fugaku-san

Hold on

* * *

><p>*Text message whistle*<p>

(Receives picture)

_Naruto _

_I'm horny I want that Uzumaki dick in me_

You're gonna take it all

_*Moans* Imma take all of it_

_Imma show you how much I love that Uzumaki dick_

I know you love this Uzumaki dick

_Narutoooo *moans* send me a picture_

*Goans* hold on

* * *

><p>*Takes picture*<p>

(Send picture)

(Recieves picture)

(Looks at picture)

Mmmm Minato that's right send that dick picture to daddy

Shit, wrong person that was meant for Sasuke

Sasauke?

Minato? Why you sending dick picture to my son?!

Wrong Fugaku-san, it's me

Naruto?

Sadly yes

I thought you was Minato, your dicks looks the same, even the hair is the same and everything

*Sends ghost face emoji*

Really I thought it was Minato

*Send dead face emoji*

How you get my number?

No comment…

I'm asking you a question Naruto. Always respect your elders.

No. Fuck you.

You just told me I have my father's dick, and then you say mmmm.

Don't talk to me.

Good Night

…

Not my fault boy, you have that Namikaze dick

…..

…..

*Screams*

* * *

><p><strong>What would you like to see next?<strong>

**Remember to review so I can be happy and make super funny chapters for you guys. I'll give you cookies. If you favorite and follow the story I ill give out brownies and hugs to everyone.**

**And if you happen to into Bleach also, please go on my profile and read the important information.**

**Byeee**


	7. He Did What?

**Let me tell you this: I do not, repeat do not own Naruto. If I did then I would make everybody dream come true. I would get sasunaru side story, and everyone can get their favorite paring side story. YAY!**

**Warning: language, graphic content, adult content aka sexual content, graphic pictures – use your imagination - , boyxboy, boyxgirl, (maybe) girlxgirl – like I said maybe.**

**Decipher: **

Minato "Um"

_Fugaku "Hn"_

Naruto "Teme"

_Kurama "'LOL"_

**(Note: **

**1-Last chapter was a request form saku-ann, saku-kun I hope you do great on your exam. **

**2-This chapter is for unknown guest **

**3-Gives out cookies, brownies, and a big hug. Thanks for being reviewing my story you guys. I feel so special, lol.**

**:End) **

**Now everyone welcome back to…..**

* * *

><p>…<strong>..x…..Texting Wonders…..x…..<strong>

**He Did What?!**

* * *

><p><span>Kuramaaa *Runs into arms crying*<span>

_*Holds you* Whats wrong Naruto_

I fucked up the interrogation, because of sasuke

_*Rubs head* How did splits make you mess up?_

He sent me a picture of a dildo in his ass, and u know I can't resist it.

And I tried to send him a picture of my dick

_*Makes face* _

And I sent it to Fugaku on accident *rubs my face into your jacket*

That evil man said that I have dads' dick, his dick man

Actually, to be precise, he said that I have that Namikaze dick *sends crying emoji*

It was terrible Ku. I was so embarrassed and stuff, ughhh

_*Rubs your head* it will be alright Naru_

_But it can't be that bad_

Ku, u just don't understand it

_If it's that bad then go over splits house_

That what I plan on doing anyway

_Good luck then_

Pray for me

_Will do *send thumb up emoji*_

* * *

><p>Fu, I let something slip<p>

_That was?_

About us

_I kinda figured_

Why?

_Well I was sleeping in my comfortable bed with my lovely wife when I got a weird text from Naruto_

Naruto?

_I guess he was trying to "Interrogate" me_

HE DID WHAT?!

_He tried to interrogate me, but he failed miserably _

How?

_He sent a dick picture to the wrong person *cough cough* me, it was for Sasuke though_

_*Send laughing emoji*_

_It was funny what I told him though_

What was it?

Tell me Fu

Tell me

_I told him he got the same dick as you_

LMMFAO

That what he get

_*Smirks* True_

Lol

_That's all _

_See ya _

Okay, but wait

_What?_

I thought you was going to get mad at me *pouts*

_You say it like it's a good thing_

_But, no I'm not mad, just a little upset_

Well...they say

Rough sex is the best sex *sends wink face emoji*

_*Rubs chin* yeah its bout be great *smirks*_

Can't wait babe

_I can't wait either_

_So you better hurry and bring that tight ass of your Mina_

_And DON'T forget the lube_

I won't I promise

_Good _

*sends tongue out face emoji*

* * *

><p><strong>I hope it was funny enough.<strong>

**What would you like to see next?**

**Remember to review so I can be happy and make super funny chapters for you guys. I'll give you cookies. If you favorite and follow the story I ill give out brownies and hugs to everyone. **

**Hehe, I hope everyone have a nice day. **

**(Note:**

**1-Should I add dates and times to this so it can seem more sequence?**

**2-Should I do birthday shoutouts? I think it make people feel very happy about themselves.**

**3-And if you happen to into Bleach also, please go on my profile and read the important information.**

**4-If you have a suggestion on what I should do next. I will post it as soon as possible. Don't worry I aint forget about ya**

**:End)**

**See You Next Time**

**BYEEEEEE~**


	8. Adopted?

**Let me tell you this: I do not, re****peat do not own Naruto. If I did then I would make everybody dream come true. I would get sasunaru side story, and everyone can get their favorite paring side story. YAY!**

**Warning: language, graphic content, adult content aka sexual content, graphic pictures – use your imagination - , boyxboy, boyxgirl, (maybe) girlxgirl – like I said maybe.**

**Decipher: **

Kushina = "Hi"

_Naruto = "Teme"_

_*Naruto phone*_

Kurama = "LOL"

**Now everyone welcome back to…..**

* * *

><p>…<strong>..x…..Texting Wonders…..x…..<strong>

**Adopted?**

* * *

><p><em>So dad came in from the door like a mad man. I tell you Ku, it was wild.<em>

Did he have that limp?

_No. That's the weird thing. It just looks he have a dildo how his ass or something_

Hmm, interesting

_The hell it sure is. Maybe he do have dildo up his booty hole_

Lol

Booty hole

_Hehe, that was pretty funny_

_*Text message whistle*_

_Hold on Ku, it's mom_

Don't worry, take your time

I'll text you when I get out the store Naru

_Okay bye_

Bye

* * *

><p>Naruto<p>

_Yes?_

I gotta tell you something. Are you sitting down?

_Actually I am sitting down. What's up mom?_

_Everything okay?_

Yes! I'm so excited, I just couldn't wait for you to get home!

_What is it?_

Your brother was adopted

_Haha mom that's funny_

Im not joking

He was adopted

_Oh really _

_I always knew Kurama was special but not that special _

Ik it surprise me to

_How it surprise you, didn't you go with dad to adopt Kurama_

What

Oh

I was trying to say accepted

The damn phone changed it

He got accepted into Harvard

_Oh shit_

_That dumbass got adopted into Harvard_

_I meant accepted _

Naruto

_Sorry mom_

_But really tho_

_Harvard? Why not a community college?_

Naruto

_No mom listen_

_I love him, but….._

_Kurama got a brain size of pea_

You got a brain size of a pea

…_..T.T….mom that was mean_

For the love of god

I need a new phone

_You really do_

* * *

><p><strong>What would you like to see next?<strong>

**Remember to review so I can be happy and make super funny chapters for you guys. I'll give you cookies. If you favorite and follow the story I ill give out brownies and hugs to everyone. **

**Hehe, I hope everyone have a nice day. **

**(Note:**

**1-Should I add dates and times to this so it can seem more sequence?**

**2-Should I do birthday shoutouts? I think it make people feel very happy about themselves.**

**3-And if you happen to into Bleach also, please go on my profile and read the important information.**

**4-If you have a suggestion on what I should do next. I will post it as soon as possible. Don't worry I aint forget about ya**

**:End)**

**See You Next Time**

**BYEEEEEE~**


	9. What LOL Don't Mean

**Let me tell you this: I do not, repeat do not own Naruto. If I did then I would make everybody dream come true. I would get sasunaru side story, and everyone can get their favorite paring side story. YAY!**

**Warning: language, graphic content, adult content aka sexual content, graphic pictures – use your imagination - , boyxboy, boyxgirl, (maybe) girlxgirl – like I said maybe.**

**Decipher: **

Kushina = "Hi"

_Naruto = "Teme"_

**(Note:**

**1-Gives out cookies, brownies, and a big hug. Thanks for reviewing and viewing my story you guys. I feel so special, lol.**

**:End) **

**Now everyone welcome back to…..**

* * *

><p>…<strong>..x…..Texting Wonders…..x…..<strong>

**What LOL Don't Mean**

* * *

><p>Naruto<p>

_Yes?_

Your godfather just died today. LOL

_Was that a typo?_

No

_Are you sure? Did you get a new phone?_

Yeah, but that wasn't a typo.

Your godfather died today by a massive heart attack

LOL

…_.._

_WHAT?!_

_HOW THE HELL IS THAT FUCKING FUNNY MOM_

Don't cuss at me young man

_MOM! DON'T YOU YOUNG MAN ME_

_YOU FUCKING SAID _

_YOUR GODFATHER DIED BY A MASSIVE HEART ATTACK. LAUGH OUT LOUD_

Oh god

I thought that meant lots of love

Now I gotta go call everyone back

_Jesus Christ mom_

_You need a texting dictionary, or somthing_

_That took a lot of energy from me. I think imma fuck sasuke. _

_I mean~ imma see him_

Okay Naruto *giggles*

Be safe

* * *

><p><strong>What would you like to see next?<strong>

**Remember to review so I can be happy and make super funny chapters for you guys. I'll give you cookies. If you favorite and follow the story I ill give out brownies and hugs to everyone. **

**Hehe, I hope everyone have a nice day. **

**(Note:**

**1-Should I add dates and times to this so it can seem more sequence?**

**2-And if you happen to into Bleach also, please go on my profile and read the important information.**

**3-If you have a suggestion on what I should do next. I will post it as soon as possible. Don't worry I aint forget about ya**

**:End)**

**See You Next Chapter**

**BYEEEEEE~**


	10. Them Yaoi Fan Moms (Wives)

**Let me tell you this: I do not, repeat do not own Naruto. If I did then I would make everybody dream come true. I would get sasunaru side story, and everyone can get their favorite paring side story. YAY!**

**Warning: language, graphic content, adult content aka sexual content, graphic pictures – use your imagination - , boyxboy, boyxgirl, (maybe) girlxgirl – like I said maybe.**

**Decipher: **

Mikoto = "Shina"

Fugaku = "Hn"

_Kushina = "Koto"_

_Minato = "Um"_

**(Note:**

**1-This chapter is for unknown guest name Kinkou**

**2-Gives out cookies. Thanks for viewing and reviewing my story you guys. Yall always me feel special.**

**:End) **

**Now everyone welcome back to…..**

* * *

><p>…<strong>..x…..Texting Wonders…..x…..<strong>

**Them Yaoi Fan Moms (Wives)**

* * *

><p>Kushina<p>

_Yes Mikoto_

Our sons are loud when they fuck

_How would you know that_

Well I walk into the house and I hear…

"FUCK SASUKE DON'T - SHIIIIT - BREAK MY DICK. YOU GOTTA WARN ME WHEN YOU DROP DOWN LIKE TH-TH-THAT. MMMM….THATS RIGHT RIDE DADDY NARU LIKE THAT "

Then I hear a loud smack, then I hear

"OOH NA-NAR-NARUTO, SHIT I L..LOVE IT WHEN YOU SMACK ME….SHHHIIIITTTT RIIIIGHT THERE"

_*Giggles* of course you will be listening_

Hell yeah I was listening, I could go own and own about them. *giggles*

Sometimes I still can't believe there together

_Me either, lol, laugh out loud_

I never knew sasuke was such a masochist

_I know right_

_*Rubs chin* Hmmm…. I thought Naruto was a uke_

I didn't, I think they switch but I guess Sasuke likes it up the booty more

Hmm. You know what. I think Sasuke is more of a badass uke and Naruto is a chibi seme

_*Nods head in agreement* They get from their dad *gasps* oh my, just_

_What if_

_What if_

_What if Minato and Fugaku was fucking_

* * *

><p><span><em>Fugaku I just sneezed I think someone is talking about us *whines and pouts*<em>

That was probably a random sneezed

_But Fu-Fu_

Nope, don't Fu-Fu me

I'm going inside the store. Don't bother me with your nonsense, while you're at home with a cold

_What you trying to say Fugaku_

I ain't trying to say anything

_Mhm. Whateva, hurry up back with my medicine._

Hn

* * *

><p>I don't mind that<p>

_Me either_

_*squeals* _

I'll pay to watch or hear them fuck *gets stars in eyes*

_I bet Minato is a flame uke_

* * *

><p><span><em>Fuuuu<em>

Wha-ut *rubs temples*

_I feel a disturbance around me_

I feel a disturbance alright

_You feel the disturbance to_

Yeah, the disturbance is you

_Fuuuu, you're so mean to meeee_

Go to sleep until come back with your medicine

You are giving me a headache with your texting

_*pouts*_

* * *

><p>I bet Fugaku is a sadist seme<p>

_*nods head in agreement*_

_Oh my. Look at the time. __Let me get of this phone and continue shopping_

Kay

Bye, be safe please dear

_You to dear_

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you like this chapter you guys.<strong>

**Soooo….What would you like to see next?**

**Remember to review so I can be happy and make super funny chapters for you guys. I'll give you cookies. If you favorite and follow the story. I'll give out brownies and hugs to everyone. **

**Hehe, I hope everyone have a nice day. **

**(Note:**

**1-Should I add dates and times to this so it can seem more sequence?**

**2-And if you happen to into Bleach also, please go on my profile and read the important information.**

**3-If you have a suggestion on what I should do next. I will post it as soon as possible. Don't worry I aint forget about ya**

**:End)**

**See You Next Time Chapter**

**BYEEEEEE~**


	11. Possessive Much?

**Let me tell you this: I do not, repeat do not own Naruto. If I did then I would make everybody dream come true. I would get sasunaru side story, and everyone can get their favorite paring side story. YAY!**

**Warning: language, graphic content, adult content aka sexual content, graphic pictures – use your imagination - , boyxboy, boyxgirl, (maybe) girlxgirl – like I said maybe.**

**Decipher: **

Minato = "Um"

_Fugaku = "Hn"_

**(Note:**

**1-This chapter is for S-Sana-N **

**2-Gives out cookies and brownies. Thanks for being so great for reading my story. If only there was more action, like more *cough* follows *cough* more favorites *coughs*. Jesus I need some meds. Lol **

**:End) **

**Now everyone welcome back to…..**

* * *

><p>…<strong>..x…..Texting Wonders…..x…..<strong>

**Possessive Much?**

* * *

><p>Fugaku, I can't believe you did that<p>

_Hn *smirks* that what that bastard gets_

You didn't need to do that

_Hell I did, that fucking Nara grabbed your ass. Key word: your ass._

_What did you want me to? Act like a bitch and say 'Shikaku-kun…um..um could you stop touching Minato ass'_

….um….

_Though I was_

But Fu, you didn't have to get yourself kick out the club

_You think that I care. I hope that bottle to the head knocked some since into him_

It wasn't that serious tho

_Yes it is, what if Haishi came over and touch my dick. You would have done the same._

No I wouldn't *pouts* I would have ripped his fingers off his hands

_Know you see what I mean *smirks*_

Okay Okay

I see what you mean, but I can't help that my ass is slightly bigger than the average man.

I say it's a curse

_I say that's it's a gift, that only belongs to me_

And my wife

_Yeah and Kushina-neechan *pouts*_

Gosh, why do you get so possessive, it's like you turn into Vegeta or something

_Hn_

_Because I am a Vegeta *does Vegeta's Kakarot yell*_

*giggles*

_But I'm a Uchiha and _

And Uchiha's don't share

_Mhm and that's also why you love me so_

Me. *looks around* Love you. You're joking right

_Ouch….that hurts babe *holds hand over heart*_

_Why you gotta be so rude~_

*giggles* Am not, *sighs* but I do love you

_I know_

Cocky much

_I'll show you cocky much...when you come over and come take this dick in your mouth_

Hahaha...you're so not funny

* * *

><p><strong>What would you like to see next?<strong>

**Remember to review so I can be happy and make super funny chapters for you guys. I'll give you cookies. If you favorite and follow the story I ill give out brownies and hugs to everyone. **

**Hehe, I hope everyone have a nice day. **

**(Note:**

**1-Should I add dates and times to this so it can seem more sequence?**

**2-Should I do birthday shoutouts? I think it make people feel very happy about themselves.**

**3-If you have a suggestion on what I should do next. I will post it as soon as possible. Don't worry I aint forget about ya**

**:End)**

**See You Next Time Chapter**

**BYEEEEEE~**


	12. The Flower Pot

**Let me tell you this: I do not, repeat do not own Naruto. If I did then I would make everybody dream come true. I would get sasunaru side story, and everyone can get their favorite paring side story. YAY!**

**Warning: language, graphic content, adult content aka sexual content, graphic pictures – use your imagination - , boyxboy, boyxgirl, (maybe) girlxgirl – like I said maybe.**

**Decipher: **

Naruto = "Teme"

_Kiba = "Akamaru"_

**(Note:**

**1-Gives out cookies, brownies, and a big hug. Thanks for reviewing my story you guys. I feel so special, lol.**

**:End) **

**Now everyone welcome back to…..**

* * *

><p>…<strong>..x…..Texting Wonders…..x…..<strong>

**The Flower Pot**

* * *

><p><em>Dude<em>

Yes?

_Dude guess what?!_

_LOL_

Lol

I have the funniest thing to tell you, but what?

_I have a concussion _

Omg! Kiba, are you ok?

_Yeah I'm fine_

How did you get it anyway

_Ok, so you see what happen was…._

_A flowerpot fell from your condo building, when I was going to come surprise visit you, since I just got back in town and I got a new dog too, his name Akamaru._

Oh really

I wanna see a picture of him

_Okay hold on_

_*Takes picture*  
>(Sends picture)<em>

(Receives picture)

(Opens picture)

He's cute

_Ikr, so what do you have to tell me?_

…oh, well I was gonna tell you that my mom's flower fell and hit some random dude this morning coming to the condo

…

I guess that random dude was you

Sorry…^/)o(\^...

* * *

><p><strong>I hope you enjoy the chapter<strong>

**What would you like to see next?**

**Remember to review so I can be happy and make super funny chapters for you guys. I'll give you cookies. If you favorite and follow the story I ill give out brownies and hugs to everyone. **

**Hehe, I hope everyone have a nice day. **

**(Note:**

**2-If you have a suggestion on what I should do next. I will post it as soon as possible. Don't worry I aint forget about ya**

**:End)**

**See You Next Time Chapter**

**BYEEEEEE~**


	13. This Awkward Situation

**Let me tell you this: I do not, repeat do not own Naruto. If I did then I would make everybody dream come true. I would get sasunaru side story, and everyone can get their favorite paring side story. YAY!**

**Warning: language, graphic content, adult content aka sexual content, graphic pictures – use your imagination - , boyxboy, boyxgirl, (maybe) girlxgirl – like I said maybe.**

**Decipher: **

Sasuke = "Dobe"

*Sasuke phone*

_Sakura = "Sasuke"_

**(Note:**

**1-Congratz saku-ann for passing your exams.**

**2-Don't hate me sakura fans**

**3-You guys I went beast mode on chapter 10, I personally think that's like the best chapter I've really really really enjoyed writing. **

**4-There might be another chapter like chapter 10 *cough cough***

**5-Gives out cookies, brownies, and a big hug. Thanks for reviewing and viewing my story you guys. Yall always make me feel so special, lol.**

**:End) **

**Now everyone welcome back to…..**

* * *

><p>…<strong>..x…..Texting Wonders…..x…..<strong>

**This Awkward Situation**

* * *

><p>*Text message whistle notification*<p>

_HI Sasuke-kun_

Who the hell is this?

_Sakura_

Sakura?

_Yes _

How you get my number?

_I got my ways_

Well, lose your was and lose my number

_I can't do that, but anyway *twirls hair*, what you're doing Sasuke?_

Taking a shit

_Awww you're taking a shit. I bet your concentration face is cute._

You're crazy

_Crazy for you_

Uh huh, yeah

_When we gonna get marry Sasu-kun_

Married? The hell we is.

I don't like zuh pussy. I like zuh dick. Naruto's to be exact.

_I'll make you like mines_

Hell to the nah.

Even if I was straight. You might have that sap.

That stank ass pussy.

_Well this pussy is right for you._

*Makes stank face*

You know what is right for you?

_What?_

This number, you can keep.

_Really *have stars twinkling in my eyes*_

Yes

And you wanna know why?

_Why?_

Because…..

_Because what?_

I'm sorry, this number is not in service

_Sasuke_

I'm sorry, this number is not in service

_Sasuke-kun_

I'm sorry, this number is not in service

_SASUKE-KUUNN_

I'm sorry, this number is not in service

* * *

><p><strong>Hope some of you guys figured out, that some of the chapters go together. But anyway hope you enjoyed the chapter.<strong>

**What would you like to see next?**

**Remember to review so I can be happy and make super funny chapters for you guys. I'll give you cookies. If you favorite and follow the story I'll give out brownies and hugs to everyone. **

**(Note:**

**1-Should I add dates and times to this so it can seem more sequence?**

**2-If you have a suggestion on what I should do next. I will post it as soon as possible. Don't worry I aint forget about ya**

**:End)**

**Hope To See You Next Time Chapter**

**BYEEEEEE~**


	14. I Almost Died

**Let me tell you this: I do not, repeat do not own Naruto. If I did then I would make everybody dream come true. I would get a sasunaru side story, and everyone else can get their favorite paring side story. YAY!**

**Warning: language, graphic content, adult content aka sexual content, graphic pictures – use your imagination - , boyxboy, boyxgirl, (maybe) girlxgirl – like I said maybe.**

**Decipher: **

Naruto = "Teme"

_Sasuke = "Dobe"_

**(Note:**

**1-Gives out cookies, brownies, and a big hug. Thanks for reviewing my story you guys. I feel so special, lol.**

**2-Gives out brownies for favoring and following that story**

**:End) **

**Now everyone welcome back to…..**

* * *

><p>…<strong>..x…..Texting Wonders…..x…..<strong>

**I Almost Died**

* * *

><p>Sasuke<p>

_I'm sorry, this number is not service_

Sasuke, its Naruto

_I'm sorry, this number is not service_

_Oh, hey babe_

Hey….we got to talk

_Talk? Talk about what?_

Me

_You?_

Yes me

_Why?_

Because I almost died

_How? _

My mom

_Momma? How?_

She was looking for her fucking phone in here fucking big ass purse.

She was driving like 60 in a 50 mph zone. And that was scaring me.

I told her to stop looking for the phone and drive.

But she was like, you don't tell me what to do young man.

I was like, mom really, stop, you're gonna drive into oncoming traffic.

She was like, Naruto you don't tell me what to do. If I wanna drive into oncoming traffic, I'm going to drive into oncoming traffic.

Next thing I know, she swerved in front of a cars and stuff.

I was holding onto the handle bar with my right hand, with my feet on the dash, while my arm was around the back of my seat like it was going to save my life.

_ROFL_

Then we were safe, somehow.

I was looking at her the whole time. My eyes was telling her, if I die, I'm doing to hunt you forever.

_Lol_

Omfg I was so scared *says in Kevin Harts voice*

I might need to call them peoples. The child services on mom. If that shit happen again.

_Why she do that._

I have no fucking clue *sighs*

I think she was high

_I need some of the stuff she on, I bet she was on cloud 9. _

I bet she was. She was laughing the whole time

_Lol_

Not funny

_L_

_O_

_FUCKIN_

_L_

Like I said it's not funny.

Since you think it's so fucking funny that I almost died, no more sex. Until I say so.

_Naruto, babe I'm sorry. _

Nerp

_I'm sorry Naruto_

I'm sorry, this number has been disconnected.

_Naruto_

I'm sorry, this number has been disconnected.

_NARUTOOO_

I'm sorry, this number has been disconnected.

_Ugh_

I'm sorry, this number has been disconnected.

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you enjoy the chapter, i might edit this one.<strong>

**What would you like to see next?**

**Remember to review so I can be happy and make super funny chapters for you guys. I'll give you cookies. If you favorite and follow the story I ill give out brownies and hugs to everyone. **

**Hehe, I hope everyone have a nice day. **

**(Note:**

**1-Should I add dates and times to this so it can seem more sequence?**

**2-If you have a suggestion on what I should do next. I will post it as soon as possible. Don't worry I aint forget about ya**

**:End)**

**See You Next Time Chapter**

**BYEEEEEE~**


	15. I'm Divorcing Your Farther

**Let me tell you this: I do not, repeat do not own Naruto. If I did then I would make everybody dream come true. I would get a sasunaru side story, and everyone else can get their favorite paring side story. YAY!**

**Warning: language, graphic content, adult content aka sexual content, graphic pictures – use your imagination - , boyxboy, boyxgirl, (maybe) girlxgirl – like I said maybe.**

**Decipher: **

Kushina = "Yaoi"

_Naruto = "Teme"_

Kiba = "Dude"

**(Note:**

**1-Gives out cookies, brownies, and a big hug. I love you guys, yall are so special to me for reading this story.**

**:End) **

**Now everyone welcome back to…..**

* * *

><p>…<strong>..x…..Texting Wonders…..x…..<strong>

**I'm Divorcing Your Father**

* * *

><p><em>Kiba you just didn't understand the struggle of me dieing. Man I was so scared. But dude, I think she was high.<em>

Dude calm down, you know that your mom is weird. She is the only mom I know whos hair starts transforming.

She be turning into Goku when she gets mad.

And plus you know she one of them yaoi fans

_I know, but I'm still shaken up about it. Even tho that happened about a week ago._

_*Text message whistle notification*_

_Kiba ill text you later._

Ok bye

* * *

><p>Naruto, I'm divorcing your dad<p>

_Oh god, you found out about dad getting fuck by Fugaku-san_

What. Noooo. I been knew about that. I found that out 2 weeks ago.

*Starts remembering* That was the best day ever *starts having nose bleed thinking about it*

_Ummm okay then_

_So what he do now_

He gave me a stiffy last night on our anniversary.

It was so unreal

_Eww, mom a stiffy_

_I don't wanna hear about you trying to make me and Kurama a baby brother_

Nooo, a Swiffer. 20 years of marriage and that's what I get.

Your father is so last minute.

_Well you was complaining about how you need another Swiffer._

He could have got me a Gucci bag.

_Mom, we are men, and men get you what we hear what you need or say the most._

But still

_You got what you been asking for mom, just leave it alone._

_Lol, taking bout divorcing dad over petty stuff._

_Why do you complain to me about your problems? I should be the one complaining._

_You almost killed us_

I'm sorry about that. But I was in my feelings.

_You was that much in your emotions to have killed us. *stares at you crazily*_

It was all the hormones fault

_Hormones my booty._

_Mom, I'm your 1st priority. I should have call them people on you. Meanie *sticks tongue out*_

* * *

><p><strong>What would you like to see next?<strong>

**Remember to review so I can be happy and make super funny chapters for you guys. I'll give you cookies. If you favorite and follow the story I ill give out brownies and hugs to everyone. **

**Hehe, I hope everyone have a nice day. **

**(Note:**

**1-Should I add dates and times to this so it can seem more sequence?**

**2-Should I do birthday shoutouts? I think it make people feel very happy about themselves.**

**3-And if you happen to into Bleach also, please go on my profile and read the important information.**

**4-If you have a suggestion on what I should do next. I will post it as soon as possible. Don't worry I aint forget about ya**

**:End)**

**See You Next Time**

**BYEEEEEE~**


	16. Haruto Meeting Party

**Let me tell you this: I do not, repeat do not own Naruto. If I did then I would make everybody dream come true. I would get a sasunaru side story, and everyone else can get their favorite paring side story. YAY!**

**Warning: language, graphic content, adult content aka sexual content, graphic pictures – use your imagination - , boyxboy, boyxgirl, (maybe) girlxgirl – like I said maybe.**

**Decipher: **

Naruto = "Dobe"

Kurama = "Splits"

**Kiba = "Dude"**

_**Gaara = "Care"**_

**Sai = "Dickless"**

_**Haku = "Nee"**_

_Sasuke = "Teme_

_Itachi = "Otouto"_

**(Note:**

**1-Gives out cookies, brownies, and a big hug. Thanks for reviewing and viewing my story you guys. I feel so special, lol.**

**2-Omg this is a long chapter**

**:End)**

**Now everyone welcome back to…..**

* * *

><p>…<strong>..x…..Texting Wonders…..x…..<strong>

**Haruto Meeting Party**

* * *

><p><em>Naruto are you going to add them in to the kik group or nah<em>

Hold on teme

**(IAm Legend has joined the group chat)**

**(I*heart emoji* dick n pussy has joined the group chat)**

_**(I'mNot A Girl has joined the group chat)**_

(Bitch I'm Da Muthafuckin Boss has joined the group chat)

_**(Not Suicidal has joined the group chat)**_

_(The Uchiha Badboy *100 emoji* has joined the group chat)_

You guys, we have an emergency

_**Oh my god, I know**_

_**Me, Gaara, and Sai just finish reading the chapter over my house earlier. **_

_**That chapter was something serious I telling you.**_

**Well before we go onto the Manga Meeting**

**Who the hell is The Uchiha Badboy with the 100 emoji and IWould Fuck A Tomato**

_**I believe that Uchiha Badboy is Itachi and IWould Fuck A Tomato is Sasuke**_

**Lol IWould Fuck A Tomato **

**Nice name Sasuke-cakes**

_Fuck you and your username Kiba_

**At least mines is legit, tomato boy**

_Fuck you_

**Want that be the other way around Sasuke**

His name ain't Sasuke its splits.

_Splits? Where did that come from otouto?_

_No where_

Why the hell are you here anyway Itachi?

I though you don't fuck with manga.

_I do 'fuck with' manga_

That's not what you told me

Umm can we start the meeting?

_**Yes please, they are getting childish**_

Whatever girly

_**Shut the fuck up **_

Anyway.

Kishimoto-sensei did something he shouldn't have did the new last Haruto chapter

_He sure did _

_Who the hell name their child Kui, kui fuckin means stake _

_**Apparently Diasuke did. **_

He must have been hungry when that bitch was givin birth

I bet he was like 'OMG I wish I had some stake right about now'

LOL

**LOL, oh shit that was funny**

_**ROFL**_

**Hey**

**You wanna know what else is funny?**

What

What

**What**

**Kishimoto had to make Haruto and Diasuke ugly.**

**Well Haruto is ight, but Diasuke went from aww, cute, hot, sexy, smexy, to, oh hell nah**

Lol, oh hell nah whoa whoa

I love that Vine, LMFAO

Lol

**Uh Oh, **

**The Uchiha Badboy is typing….Let's give his majesty some room to type**

_Fuck you Sai_

**Mmmm you can fuck me anytime**

_*Gives the finger*_

**So you want me to suck it to**

_**Sai shut up**_

**Okay party pooper **

_Anyway_

_The only thing I had a problem with the most was, Dai and Ina child_

**Hell yeah, is the child a he or a she**

_**HarutoWiki said that Inaji is a boy**_

**That's a confused boy then**

_Sure is_

_**Poor baby**_

Too bad Terra don't have kids. I would like to know, if they would have red hair like him.

_**Naruto that's a good thing he don't have kids. You know Terra is my husband.**_

No he's not

_**Yeah huh. Kishimoto made Terra say to me 'Haku will you be the daddy of my future child' *giggles***_

You're silly Haku

_**I know, I get it from my daddy**_

_OMG did you see Hiba, and Soramaru_

Soramaru is an old doggy, will Hiba is trying to get his mac on

_Really, mac on_

What. That what popped up in my head.

_**Did you see Kuro**_

He looks like he was on some of that good kush and alcohol

_**Kuro got a sexy voice like his brother**_

**Do you have to love the sand boys?**

_**Yes. Yes I do. They are life.**_

_I can't wait to see this chapter animated. _

_**I can't wait either**_

_**Either can I.**_

_**I really wanna see Haruto with all the hokages and lighting**_

Me 2. But pause, who is Lighting?

_**Haruto's cute son. He's gonna be sexy when get older like his daddy was. *drools a little***_

**Too bad Gai-Lee is in a wheelchair**

Mhmm, he use to go beast mode, now he have to go wheelchair mode.

_Good pun_

_Lol_

**Did you see Daisuke at the end when he turned around?**

**Hell yeah**

_I can't believe they made him look like that omg. And Haruto eyes got smaller. Jesus take the wheel._

_Haruto had the perfect uke eyes._

_**Haruto don't have the perfect uke eyes, That boy Izuma from Love Stage do.**_

_**You mean Izumi**_

_**I was close Gaara**_

That was a good anime

_It was better than dramatical murder anime_

Imma send Kishimoto-sensei a letter. Asking him what happen to DaiNaru yaoi thing.

_**I was disappointed in that**_

**Me 2, I wanted to see the sex**

**SAI**

**What**

_Ugh, you prevert_

I can't believe Im saying this but I agree.

With

Sai *holds chest* Oh god that hurts

I wanna see Haruto get his ass fuck by Diasuke

_You better read a DaiHaru fanfiction_

_**Well I'm going to bed night**_

_**(Not Suicidal has left the group)**_

**I guess Imma be going to, I have to take Akamaru to the vet in the morn. Night Guys.**

_**Night**_

Night

(**IAm Legend has left the group)**

_Bye, I got work_

_(The Uchiha Badboy *100 emoji* has left the group)_

_Naruto we gotta go_

Why? This is my group chat

_*whispers in ear*_

Sorry, I can't hear you since you're at your house

_Just pretend like always dobe_

*whispers in ear*

*looks at you*

For real, you do that

_Yeah_

On the way. See yall later.

_Bye_

(I Wove Ramen Noddles has left the group)

_(IWould Fuck A Tomato has left the group)_

So Haku it's just Sai and I left

How about you me and Sai have a threesome

_**No**_

Come on sexy

**I'll bring the whip cream**

And the vibrator

_**Fine, come thur the back door, in 30 mins**_

**Will do**

**(I *heart emoji* dick and pussy has left the group)**

Roger that

Big Daddy Kurama is on his way

_**You're so stupid**_

_**(I'mNot A Girl has left the group)**_

(Bitch I'm Da MuthaFuckin Boss has left the group)

* * *

><p><strong>I hope you enjoy the chapter<strong>

**What would you like to see next?**

**Remember to review so I can be happy and make super funny chapters for you guys. I'll give you cookies. **

**If you favorite and follow the story I'll give out brownies and hugs to everyone. **

**Hehe, I hope everyone have a nice day. **

**(Note:**

**1-Should I add dates and times to this so it can seem more sequence?**

**2-If you have a suggestion on what I should do next. I will post it as soon as possible. Don't worry I aint forget about ya**

**3- I thought I should surprise you guys with this chapter**

**4-Haruto is there version of Naruto**

**5-Haruto = Naruto, Diasuke = Sasuke, Terra = Gaara, Kuro = Kankuro, Dai = Sai, Ina = Ino, Inaji = Inojin *Sai and Ino son*, Hiba = Kiba, Soramaru = Akamaru, Gai-Lee = Rock Lee**

**:End)**

**See You Next Time Chapter**

**BYEEEEEE~**


	17. Fuck They Know

**Let me tell you this: I do not, repeat do not own Naruto. If I did then I would make everybody dream come true. I would get a sasunaru side story, and everyone else can get their favorite paring side story. YAY!**

**Warning: language, graphic content, adult content aka sexual content, graphic pictures – use your imagination - , boyxboy, boyxgirl, (maybe) girlxgirl – like I said maybe.**

**Decipher: **

Naruto = "Teme"

_Dad = "Huh"_

Fugaku = "Hn"

**(Note:**

**1-You guys give me some more suggestions **

**2-Gives out cookies, brownies, and a big hug. Thanks for reviewing my story you guys. I feel so special, lol.**

**:End) **

**Now everyone welcome back to…..**

* * *

><p>…<strong>..x…..Texting Wonders…..x…..<strong>

**Fuck They Know**

* * *

><p>Dad<p>

Dad

_What *raises eye brow*_

Mom knows that you and Fugaku-san fuck

_NANII_

_HOW THE HELL YOU KNOW THAT SHE KNOW_

Because she was complaining about yall anniversary like 3 weeks ago

And I slipped about it

_YOU DID WHAT_

*Holds hands up* Calm down daddy tiger, she said she knew about it like 2 weeks ago

Which is 5 weeks as of today that she told me that she knew

And 4 or 3 weeks that I knew she knew

She said it was her best day of her life

Apparently she is a yaoi fan girl

_How come you didn't tell me about that when she told me_

It slipped my mind on accident

_On accident_

Dad it's not a big deal, I bet mom would pay to yall fuck

_*sighs*_

What I'm telling the truth

_You're stressing me out Naruto_

No dad you're stressing yourself out.

You're embarrassed that mom probably found you bent over your desk at home, getting your ass pounded into you by fugaku

_Naruto stop talking to me _

You mad or nah dad

_Goodbye Naruto_

* * *

><p><em>Omg Omg<em>

_Fu Fuuuuu_

What

_Naruto found out about like 3 or 4 weeks ago, Kushina saw us fucking_

I told you to you to close the door of your office, but nooo you aint listen

_Calm down Fu your Uchiha is slipping_

Hn

_But no need to for fear Kushina Uzumaki is fine with it_

I bet

_Huh_

She and Mikoto are fucking yaoi fan girls, they have a fuckin blogging site about yaoi

_What the hell a blogging site. I knew about Kushina, but Mikoto to_

The only thing to worry about is, who gonna be watching and shit

I love Mikoto, as my wife, my bestfriend, and the mother of my children

But she can be a real bother

I still can't believe it they both fucking know

_Ugh_

_We are about to enter the yaoi apocalypse_

Dear lord help us for what is about to come

_Your Uchiha is slipping Fu_

Hn

* * *

><p><strong>I hoped you enjoy the chapter<strong>

**What would you like to see next?**

**Remember to review so I can be happy and make super funny chapters for you guys. I'll give you cookies. **

**If you favorite and follow the story I'll give out brownies and hugs to everyone. **

**Hehe, I hope everyone have a nice day. **

**(Note:**

**1-And if you happen to be into Bleach, also, please go on my profile and read the important information.**

**2-If you have a suggestion on what I should do next. I will post it as soon as possible. Don't worry I aint forget about ya.**

**3-I have a surprise for yall when this story ends. Don't worry this story won't end for some while now.**

**:End)**

**See You Next Time Chapter**

**BYEEEEEE~**


	18. If God So Help Me

**Let me tell you this: I do not, repeat do not own Naruto. If I did then I would make everybody dream come true. I would get a sasunaru side story, and everyone else can get their favorite paring side story. YAY!**

**Warning: language, graphic content, adult content aka sexual content, graphic pictures – use your imagination - , boyxboy, boyxgirl, (maybe) girlxgirl – like I said maybe.**

**Decipher: **

Naruto = "Nanii"

_Sasuke = "Hn"_

**(Note:**

**1-This chapter is for my awesome fans. You guys. (\/)^.^**

**2-Gives out cookies, brownies, and a big hug. Thanks for reviewing my story you guys. I feel so special, lol.**

**:End) **

**Now everyone welcome back to…..**

* * *

><p>…<strong>..x…..Texting Wonders…..x…..<strong>

**If God So Help Me**

* * *

><p>Today was going to be an awkward day in the Namikaze-Uzumaki Household.<p>

Yes indeed. You could feel the awkwardness, that was about to start brewing. Especially from our favorite blond.

Let's mosey on down into the living room, where we could see our said favorite blond pacing back and forth with a bothered look on his handsome face.

"Mom. I really don't want to do this. That's – this is an invasion of privacy." Naruto said, while looking down at the camera his mother gave to him, as he runs a hand in his blond spiked hair.

Finally as he stops pacing and stands in front of his mom with his arms crossed.

"Yes Naruto you must do it. I need this." She replies with a wild look in her eyes "We need this Naruto" looking up at him as she take his hands into hers "Could you please do this one thing for your dear ol' mother."

Sighing as he looks down at her "Well. I'll try to take a picture of them doing it. But if one night you hear me screaming, and you come in my room – so help me God – I will throw my pillow at you." He says as he starts walking away, but turns to his mom "Oh and I expect to find 500 dollars in my room, on my desk." And starts walking up the stairs.

Oh the horrors that awaited for him, just around the corner.

* * *

><p>…<strong>..x…..Texting Wonders…..x…..<strong>

* * *

><p>TEMEEEEE T.T…<p>

_What dobe_

I just lose my virginity

_You been lost that _

I think, I think, I'm scared for life. *tries to take the image out of his mind*

_O.o_

_What the hell is going on?_

Mom, she, she, she made me take a picture of our dads fucking

_That's sicks_

And what makes it worse I had to stand there and watch and hear them fuck

Oh dear father

Teme come kiss my boo boo

_*kisses u* is that better dobe_

Yeah its better, but oh dear god I can still see it

_Stop fucking picturing it_

Well my fuckin bad, I can't fuckin help that shit

_Hn. Aint my problem then_

SASUKKEEE

_Yes Naruto *blinks eyelashes*_

Why you gotta be so rude~

Why you gotta be so

_Shut the FUCK up_

Sheesh

* * *

><p><strong>How you like this chapter?<strong>

**What would you like to see next?**

**Remember to review so I can be happy and make super funny chapters for you guys. **

**I'll give you cookies. If you favorite and follow the story I'll give out brownies and hugs to everyone. **

**Hehe, I hope everyone have a nice day. **

**(Note:**

**1-Sorry for the delay you guys I was writing this special chapter for you**

**:End)**

**See You Next Time Chapter**

**BYEEEEEE~**


	19. I'm Running Away

**Let me tell you this: I do not, repeat do not own Naruto. If I did then I would make everybody dream come true. I would get a sasunaru side story, and everyone else can get their favorite paring side story. YAY!**

**Warning: language, graphic content, adult content aka sexual content, graphic pictures – use your imagination - , boyxboy, boyxgirl, (maybe) girlxgirl – like I said maybe.**

**Decipher: **

Naruto = "Teme"

_Kurama = "What"_

Neji = "No"

_Haku = "loser"_

**(Note:**

**1-Gives out cookies, brownies, and a big hug. Thanks for being patient guys. **

**2-If you ain't notice I post every day. If I don't that means I'm tried, busy (school), or writing a chapter**

**:End) **

**Now everyone welcome back to…..**

* * *

><p>…<strong>..x…..Texting Wonders…..x…..<strong>

**I'm Running Away**

* * *

><p>Neji<p>

No

But Neji I ain't even say anything to you yet

Naruto I know your type

My type

Yes, and your type is retarded

Am not, I am highly intelligent

You google that word didn't you

*Sends blushing emoji* Did not, I'm not that slow

I am just special

We know

Whatever, but Neji can I leave with you

No

But Neji

Goodbye Naruto

* * *

><p>Kurama<p>

_Yes my sexy little brother_

I need help

_What is it?_

I'm running away from home

_Are you a little bit too old to be doing that shit_

No

_Why do you want to run away?_

Because, momma is making do things I don't want to do

_Like what_

She made be take pictures of dad and Fugaku

_For real, what was they doing?_

Having sex

_Oohhh, what position _

Dad was bent over his office desk at home, and Fugaku was balls deep inside of him

_Dang, I know you're scared _

Hell yeah, so can I stay with you

_No_

WHAT! Why?

_Because I be busy_

You know what, bye, you are ridiculous

_Yeah, I love you to bro_

* * *

><p>Haku<p>

_Yes dear_

Can I stay with you?

_With me_

_I guess_

_But why?_

Because I can't leave with my mom any more

_Let me guess, the picture then_

Yesss, ugh, don't remind me.

I just wanna stay with you for a little bit.

Because my mom she's high on that yaoi shit and I can't take it

_Lol_

_When you want me to pick you up_

No

_No? _

No, you don't have to because I'm already here

_You sure you're here_

Yes, look out the window

_That's what I'm doing _

_Hold on, let me double check_

_*giggles* Naruto your so special _

Yeah I know bestfriend

*sticks tongue out* blahhh

* * *

><p>To: Mom<p>

From: Your Son Who Ran Away Because of You

Dear Mom,

I'm sorry mom, but I can't do your dirty work for you anymore.

Three weeks ago you made me go and invade the privacy of two men, which was in this house. And because of that, I've been having these weird dreams I call nightmares. So please give at least two weeks to clear my mind from the horror that I have seen.

Mom, don't worry about me. I'll be okay; I'm a big boy now. I can take care of myself. And I promise I won't eat Ramen everyday. I love you and dad.

Sincerely,

Naruto

PS. Thanks for the five hundred dollars

"Kushina!" Minato yelled "You need to come and see this! And we _need_ to talk NOW!"

* * *

><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed the chapter<strong>

**What would you like to see next?**

**Remember to review so I can be happy and make super funny chapters for you guys. I'll give you cookies. **

**If you favorite and follow the story I'll give out brownies and hugs to everyone. **

**Hehe, I hope everyone have a nice day. **

**(Note:**

**1-Sorry for the delay I had a brain poop, lol I didn't know what to post next.**

**2-I'm making this new Naruto story. And I was wondering if anyone would like to co-write with me. If so please send me a pm about it.**

**3-Do anyone watch Gugure! Kokkori-san? Because I started watching it 2 days ago and I'm addicted to it, lol. I love Kokkori, he reminds me on Inuyasha and Kurama (Yu Yu Hakusho).**

**4- Oh my gosh. I just found my husband Daisuke Ono.**

**:End)**

**See You Next Time Chapter**

**BYEEEEEE~**


	20. Family Feud

**Let me tell you this: I do not, repeat do not own Naruto. If I did then I would make everybody dream come true. I would get a sasunaru side story, and everyone else can get their favorite paring side story. YAY!**

**Warning: language, graphic content, adult content aka sexual content, graphic pictures – use your imagination - , boyxboy, boyxgirl, (maybe) girlxgirl – like I said maybe.**

**Decipher: **

Naruto = "Teme"

_Kurama = "LOL"_

_Kushina = "Baka"_

Minato = "Ha"

**(Note:**

**1-Omg you guys, I'm so so sorry I didn't update in like 3 or 4 days. I got lazy and I could figure out what chapter should be about.**

**2-Gives out cookies, brownies, and a big hug. Thanks for being the best a girl and ever ask.**

**:End) **

**Now everyone welcome back to…..**

* * *

><p>…<strong>..x…..Texting Wonders…..x…..<strong>

**Family Feud**

* * *

><p><span><em>Naruto what is this? Is this a new feature on my phone?<em>

No honey it's just an app, its called Kick

_No dad, its spelled kik, its pronounced kick_

Oh well, at least I know what it is

_True *nods head in agreement*_

_Oh well I like everyone username, but Kurama_

_WHAT!?_

_It's a little vulgar hunny_

_A little VUGLAR!_

_Says the red headed lady, I call mom, with the vulgar username_

He got a point there Kushina

I mean They call Ku-Shina Bitch *smirks*

_Oh snap dad. *gives air high five* _

_I saw what you did there_

_Haha, you think it's so funny _

*sticks tongue out*

_So dad what your username_

_Wait let me guess_

_I like Fucking Fugaku Uchiha_

LOL

_Naru, your back_

Yea I'm back you guys

That was funny Ku

*Gives high five*

_*High fives back*_

_I know right_

Baka baka

No its not 'I like Fucking Fugaku Uchiha'

It's #NarutalBlond RealTalk

_I like that_

Mhm me to

But anyway

_Naruto have some confessions_

_You do dear_

Yes I do

Let's hear them

_Yeah let's hear them Naru_

No one asked for an echo Kurama

_Whatever_

Hn

_Oh lord the world just ended, he just Hn_

_Splits must have gotten to him_

_*Shakes head* Kurama shut up_

_Yes mother_

_Okay dear what was you going to say?_

Confession one: Mom, I'm sorry I ran away last month

_Its fine_

_No it wasn't, but that letter was_

_KURAMA!_

_Sorry mother_

Confession two: Dad, I'm sorry you married mom

_*snickers*_

I'm sorry too

_*ROLF* Oh shit *wipes tears from eyes*_

_You're sorry that you married me_

No. Its just sometimes I am.

_And why is that_

*Looks at kushina crazily*

Why!

_You don't know why!_

You made me run away about a month ago, talking about

_Why is that_

Thank u echo

…

_Momma we love you *says it like that girl in that p.o.p video* __**(0)**_

_But u crazy_

_Am not_

Now it's my turn to look at you crazy

_You better get her bro_

_You better get her_

_What hell is this? Bash on mom and wife day?_

Yes

Hell Yeah

_Hai Hai_

_This is a conspiracy_

You're a conspiracy

Y'all whole life been a conspiracy

_Umm *raises hand* what is an conspiracy_

For someone who got accepted to Harvard

You're sure is slow for not knowing what conspiracy mean

_And for a dumbass_

_I'm surprise that you can even spell the word conspiracy_

Kurama got accepted to Harvard?

I know right

_That's what I said too_

_Do you not have faith in your son?_

NO

_No one asked you dip shit_

*holds heart* and I thought I was bae

Whoa Whoa

This is a no incest family

What? What you talking about? No one fucking anyone.

_Says the blond in the fucked up family_

_This family ain't fucked up_

_Says the lady who's fucking her bestfriend_

*gasps*

_Oh, that's what I thought_

U fucking Mikoto?

…

Well are you? Mother

_(They call Ku-Shina Bitch has lefted the group chat)_

This family is fucked up

_Mhm_

I guess there's more to this family feud

_Yep_

Well I'm leaving, but before I go, let me ask

How mom figure out how to get out the group chat?

I had to show her

Oh. Well. Bye

(I Wove Ramen Noddles has lefted the group chat)

_Soooo dad I wanna confess something to you_

Bye Kurama

_But dad_

No

_These are my confession *sings it like usher*_

(#NarutalBlond RealTalk has lefted the group chat)

_Fuck. You. To. Dad_

_(Bitch I'm Da MuthaFuckin Boss has lefted the group chat)_

* * *

><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed the chapter<strong>

**What would you like to see next?**

**Remember to review so I can be happy and make super funny chapters for you guys. I'll give you cookies. **

**If you favorite and follow the story I'll give out brownies and hugs to everyone. **

**Hehe, I hope everyone have a nice day. **

**(Note:**

**0-Look up p.o.p momma I love you on youtube**

**1-They took away the lines. Why did they have to do that. That help divide my stuff, in this story .(mini update: i can put my lines now, but, why is my doc manager acting slow)**

**2-I'm upset that Gugure! Kokkori-san had its last episode today. Imma miss watching it, hopefully there will be a season 2.**

**3-I finish just watch Sekai Ichi Hatsukoi, it was really good. Right now I'm almost done with Junjou Romantica. But as of right now (when this chapter just got up) I'm watching Karneval.**

**4-If you enjoy bleach fanfictions too, please go to my google plus and facebook link, voting starts tomorrow. **

**5-Have a nice winter break. Please be safe as you travel for Christmas or whatever you celebrate (not to be rude)**

**:End)**

**See You Next Time Chapter**

**BYEEEEEE~**


	21. This Feud Over

**Let me tell you this: I do not, repeat do not own Naruto. If I did then I would make everybody dream come true. I would get a sasunaru side story, and everyone else can get their favorite paring side story. YAY!**

**Warning: language, graphic content, adult content aka sexual content, graphic pictures – use your imagination - , boyxboy, boyxgirl, (maybe) girlxgirl – like I said maybe.**

**Decipher: **

Suigestu = "yeps"

_Sasuke = "hn"_

**(Note:**

**1-This chapter is for the unknown guest who gave me the ideas**

**2-Gives out cookies, brownies, and a big hug. Thanks for taking your time out of your busy schedule to read this story.**

**3-If you ain't notice I post every day. If I don't that means I'm tried, busy, or writing a chapter for you guys**

**4-Would anyone like to be the co-writer of the story I'm making.**

**:End) **

**Now everyone welcome back to…..**

* * *

><p>…<strong>..x…..Texting Wonders…..x…..<strong>

**This Feud Over**

* * *

><p>Standing in the middle of the floor at the Uchiha mansion. There was a tall red head male with an annoyed look on his face, as he stands with his hand on his hip, waiting patiently for everyone to stop talking at each other.<p>

Finally what seemed like forever, the talking had ceased.

"So let's get this straight Kurama" the older Uchiha said rubbing a hand in his hair. "This happened during the time Naruto had ran away to Haku's house?"

He answered with a nod.

"And you was on your way to visit your mom to see if she was alright with Naruto leaving. Then when you got there and opened the door you heard noses and went upstairs, only to find them." As Fugaku points at the ladies sitting in the love seat together.

Glancing to where Fugaku pointed, Kurama nods fiercely as he gets on the floor to sit indian style – or as how Kurama like to call it cress cross apple sauce – as his legs started to get tired.

"So" a voice says breaking the silence, as everyone turned to look at him. "I came here for pretty much nothing." One of the blonds said putting his arms around his boyfriend and his boyfriend brother.

Turning his head to look at his brother, he shrugs "I guess Naruto. I kinda thought there would have been some Karate Kid up in here"

"I don't know why you thought that" pointing at Fugaku "Fugaku-san is clearly not upset about this. Confused, but not upset."

Standing up from his spot on the floor. Kurama makes his way over to were his parents and their 'partners' are sitting and stands in front of them, with a tired expression on his face.

"This mini – well big family feud is now over. Me and the gang are coming over to my house" looking over his shoulder to Sasuke, Naruto and Itachi.

"We are?" Naruto asked questioning that logic. Only to get elbowed in his sides by both Sasuke and Itachi. He grunts out in pain "Yeah we are."

Kurama looks back over to his parents. "Well we see ya later and don't worry I'll to tell ya we got there safe."

As he makes his way to the door he grabs his coat and keys off there hooks. Filing one by getting their coats and keys, the gang leaves.

So you're telling me that your mom and is fucking Naru's mom

* * *

><p><em>Was fucking<em>

Was fucking Naruto's mom

_Yes_

Well at least all the mysteries are solved

But yall have a weird family

_Can't help that I live in one, but there very entertaining_

I bet

First it was your daddy and Naruto dad

And now it's your mommy and Naruto mom

And your parents and his are still together

Now I call that true love, because no way in hell my mom and dad do that

_Lol_

Good thing it's over tho. Just a week before Xmas.

_Yes finally, I wanna know what I get from my dad, I hope it's a car_

The benefits of having rich parents

I'm just glad to see a present that have my name on it and shit

_Don't worry Sui, I'm going to get you a present_

Really *grabs your hands* Sasuke, I love you

If you didn't go out with Naruto, I'll date you

_*Yanks hands out of yours* I wouldn't dare to date you_

That's mean Sasuke-kuuunnn

_Ugh, don't remind me of her_

Oh, speaking of her she got a boy friend

_WHAT. SHE GOT A BOY FRIEND._

_Who's the unlucky bastard?_

I can't tell you

_Why_

Because I can't its pose to be a secret

_That secret is gone then_

Stop acting bitchy you'll find out, shit

_Hn_

Well that's my q, when you start to talk less

_*Frowns eyebrows*_

Bye Sasuke have a nice night

* * *

><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed the chapter<strong>

**What would you like to see next?**

**Remember to review so I can be happy and make super funny chapters for you guys. I'll give you cookies. **

**If you favorite and follow the story I'll give out brownies and hugs to everyone. **

**Hehe, I hope everyone have a nice day. **

**(Note:**

**1-Have a nice Christmas Eve and be safe please.**

**2-I finished watch Junjou Romantica, I'm so ready for season 3.**

**:End)**

**See You Next Time Chapter**

**BYEEEEEE~**


	22. Tis' Day Season

**Let me tell you this: I do not, repeat do not own Naruto. If I did then I would make everybody dream come true. I would get a sasunaru side story, and everyone else can get their favorite paring side story. YAY!**

**Warning: language, graphic content, adult content aka sexual content, graphic pictures – use your imagination - , boyxboy, boyxgirl, (maybe) girlxgirl – like I said maybe.**

**Decipher: **

Kiba = "Merry Fuck"

_Naurto = "King Christmas_

**(Note:**

**1-Gives out presents. Ho Ho Merry Christmas.**

**2-If you ain't notice I post every day. If I don't that means I'm tried, busy, or writing a chapter for you guys**

**3-I hope yall enjoy this Xmas special**

**4-Would anyone like to be the co-writer of the story I'm making.**

**:End) **

**Now everyone welcome back to…..**

* * *

><p>…<strong>..x…..Texting Wonders…..x…..<strong>

**Tis' Day Season**

* * *

><p>It been a week since the madness at the Uchiha mansion. I got to say that was a rough week. Hopefully there will be a lot of joy, since its Christmas Day.<p>

For each different year for Christmas, the Uchiha's or Uzumaki's host a little get together at their houses. This year they over the Uzumaki's house for this year Christmas get together.

Now enough of my 'narrating', let go into the house shall we.

Walking down the stairs Kurama makes beats for 'joyful' Christmas song.

"Joy to the world. He fucked my man. That's why~ he got~ herpies~. That's what he gets~. For sucking dick~. That hoe ain't got shit on me~. That's why~ he got a S.T.D~."

Walking up to his singing brother who started dancing on the stairs. He tries to get his attention.

"Kurama"

"He has to clean his-"

"KURAMA"

"What Naruto. I was singing my song"

Raising an eyebrow as he folds "Well excuse me, but everyone was trying to make you stop. Oh and Itachi said I quote 'We don't give a fuck about your ex's'."

"You can tell him that I wasn't talking about my ex's. I got it off of YouTube thank you very much."

Huffing, Kurama stomps down the stairs with Naruto right on his heels. They walk around the corner, to where they meet the kitchen. Stepping into the kitchen, they were meet by sets of eyes.

"Hello ladies" Kurama greeted with a wave of his hand.

"Hey mom" Naruto giving her a kiss on the cheek "Hi everyone" greeting all the ladies with a hug, as he finish he goes around the island to have seat.

"Mmmm" sniffing the air, Naruto could smell the aroma of food cooking. "What you guys cooking. It smells great. I hope its ramen."

"I hope there cooking everything but ramen, Naruto." Kurama said, moving away from island to stand by the window. "So where's dad and them" asking his mom

."Hmm. I don't know dear". Wiping her hands clean on the dish rag she had, she turns to Tsunade "Where is your son at exactly?"

Thinking to herself for a moment, she replies "I sent him with the boys to get cranberry sauce. So they should back any minute."

Just as she says that, the doorbell is rang. Getting up from his chair in a heartbeat Naruto leaves the kitchen yelling an 'I'm coming' as he gets the door.

"What the hell took so long to get the door dobe." Sasuke says, walking through the door that was opened to him, as he enters into the house with Minato, Itachi and Fugaku. Hanging his coat and scarf up he turns to Naruto with a bag in his hand "Here take the damn cranberry sauce".

Taking the sauce Naruto look at Sasuke with an amused look on his face. Shrugging his shoulders he leave him to be and goes into the kitchen where Granny Tsunade was waiting for the cranberry sauce. Entering the kitchen he gives Tsunade the cranberry, only to get ushered out by the ladies with Kurama by his side.

Few hours later….

"Man I'm hungry as shit" Kurama cries out patting his stomach.

"You ain't the only one" Naruto mumbles in reply as his stomach rumbles.

"BOYS" a voice yell "THE FOOD IS DONE".

With that, there was a bomb rush of men running into the kitchen get plates of food. Good thing that the ladies were smart enough to their food, before Mikoto told the boys to come and eat.

An hour or two later it was time to open present. Jesus was there going to be madness.

"Mother, Father, what is this?" Itachi asked looking at his gift in his hands that was given to him from his family aka mom and dad.

"What's wrong with it?" Mikoto answered innocently.

Being nosy, Sasuke leans over to look and see what's in his brother's hand. Only to see an item that looks close to a dildo. He smirks with and amused look. "Why do Itachi have a dildo?" sounding innocent as he asks the question out loud to gain attention from the Uzumaki's.

Feeling eyes on him. Itachi turns his head to look at Sasuke with murderous intent in his eyes. Feeling Itachi eyes on him, he gets to move. Only to find himself meeting the wrapping paper that was on the floor. Getting up from the floor. He pulls off the wrapping paper that was stuck to face. With his eye twitching, it was the last straw.

Before anyone knew it. There was fight in the middle of the floor. Sasuke was sitting on Itachi's waist throwing punches left to right, only to get blocked. Bucking, Itachi tries to get Sasuke off of him. With success, he manages to get him off. As Sasuke gets bucked off of Itachi, he lands a kick to Itachi's jaw. Getting up off the floor, while Itachi was recovering from the kick. He turns around, only to be greeted by Itachi, tackling him into the Christmas tree that was behind Sasuke.

In the background you could hear a loud.

"NOT MY CHRISTMAS TREE"

* * *

><p>Dude they broke your mom's tree?<p>

_Yeah_

_I can't believe they started fighting like_

So who won?

_Itachi won that fight, after he tackled Sasuke into the tree like a running back_

_Poor sasuke passed out after that_

Dang

At least they aint ruin Christmas

_They didn't ruin Christmas for me_

_While they was fight me and Kurama was laughing the whole time_

_You should have seen granny *shivers*_

_She threw them out of the house_

*flinches* oooo

Was your mom crying, because I would be crying to

With the big son of a bitch of a tree

I know it took her forever to decorate

_Yeah she was_

_Sasuke and Itachi got to pay for the tree_

They better pay for your tree

Hey Naru I gotta text you later

I gotta help clean up the trash I see yea tomorrow

_Ok, see yea_

_Merry Fucking Christmas to you man_

Merry Fucking Christmas to you too buddy

* * *

><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed the chapter<strong>

**What would you like to see next?**

**Remember to review so I can be happy and make super funny chapters for you guys. I'll give you cookies. **

**If you favorite and follow the story I'll give out brownies and hugs to everyone. **

**Hehe, I hope everyone have a nice day. **

**(Note:**

**1-Have a nice holiday and be safe please.**

**:End)**

**See You Next Time Chapter**

**BYEEEEEE~**


	23. Poor Creature

**Let me tell you this: I do not, repeat do not own Naruto. If I did then I would make everybody dream come true. I would get a sasunaru side story, and everyone else can get their favorite paring side story. YAY!**

**Warning: language, graphic content, adult content aka sexual content, graphic pictures – use your imagination - , boyxboy, boyxgirl, (maybe) girlxgirl – like I said maybe.**

**Decipher: **

Suigestu = "Yo"

_Sasuke = "Hn"_

Neji = "Nani"

**(Note:**

**1-This chapter is for XxXVanilla-ChanXxX**

**2-Happy New Year (of anime) and Merry Christmas. Gives out late presents and hugs. **

**3-I'm for the long delay on this story. I exams for the past 2 weeks (I passed 2 of *cheers*) and I wasn't feeling good after Christmas to write anything. But I miss you guys.**

**4-Be prepared for future randomness in chapters. **

**:End) **

**Now everyone welcome back to…..**

* * *

><p>…<strong>..x…..Texting Wonders…..x…..<strong>

**Poor Creature**

* * *

><p>So you remember when I told you that Sakura have a boyfriend right<p>

_Yeah. So you going to tell me who the poor bastard is_

Turns out it's not a 'poor bastard' like you call it

_What you mean_

That bastard is a girl

. . ._ o.o hn?_

And the girl is Karin

_Damn that poor creature_

Creature? That's new

_It's a new year, full of new nicknames_

^ ^ '', well I got something else to tell you

_What is it_

Hinata is dating Deidara

_*spits out tomato juice*_

_Oh shit do Neji know?_

Hell no

_Excuse me I have a mission_

Umm…okay

But if anyone asked you aint get fuckin shit from me

_Okay_

* * *

><p><em>Neji<em>

Yes

_Hinatagotaboyfriend_

Huh

_HINATA gotaboyfriend_

SHE WHAT!

_Got a boyfriend_

A guy friend

_For the love of …_

_Hinata – TA _

_Have A BOY – B O Y_

_Friend – D_

Someone bout to learn today

_Learn what? _

_A destiny lesson_

Haha really funny, stop trying to kill

But no. They bout to get f the fuck up

_With what?_

_You palms of justice *snickers*_

You do know you spelled snicker right

_Leave me A lone_

_Oh BTW shes dating Deidara_

Oh nevermind, I'll just talk to them

Because

I don't want my hair to get blown off my scalp

_I bet you don't_

_Oh BTW Sakura is dating Karin_

When she go lez-bobo

_I don't know but Jesus did it yes he did_

Smh that poor creature

_BTW you aint hear shit from me_

_Clear_

As clear as Clear on Dmmd

_He got a big dick, you know that right_

I bet you would know

_Hey what that pose to mean_

What you think it means

_Whatever _

* * *

><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed the chapter<strong>

**What would you like to see next?**

**Remember to review so I can be happy and make super funny chapters for you guys. I'll give you cookies. **

**If you favorite and follow the story I'll give out brownies and hugs to everyone. **

**Hehe, I hope everyone have a nice day. **

**(Note:**

**1-Please go to the links in my profile (google plus link) I need people to vote for some bleach fanfictions and authors. I so far voted universe-punk for bleach author of the year, honeyMellon for best old bleach author, Epic Sexting Failures by, PhoenixDiamond for best comedy/humor, and so and so and etc. Soooo please come and vote if you like bleach.**

**2-Any request?**

**:End)**

**See You Next Time Chapter**

**BYEEEEEE~**


	24. Should I Call This Maybe

**Let me tell you this: I do not, repeat do not own Naruto. If I did then I would make everybody dream come true. I would get a sasunaru side story, and everyone else can get their favorite paring side story. YAY!**

**Warning: language, graphic content, adult content aka sexual content, graphic pictures – use your imagination - , boyxboy, boyxgirl, (maybe) girlxgirl – like I said maybe.**

**Decipher: **

Kurama = "Hey"

_Itachi = "Yes"_

Hidan = "Fuck"

**(Note:**

**1-Hello everyone I know I'm supposed to be updating everyday but let me tell, it's a second semester and shit has got real.**

**2-You have been warn randomness**

**3-I do now these songs that are in this chapter and (maybe future) chapters**

**4-Thank you for reviewing everyone. *gives out cakes***

**:End) **

**Now everyone welcome back to…..**

* * *

><p>…<strong>..x…..Texting Wonders…..x…..<strong>

**Should I Call This Maybe**

* * *

><p>Omg Itachi I wanna sing<p>

Will you sing with me please?

_Fine_

_But didn't you have to tell me something_

Oh yeah I do

I threw a wish in the well

And the funny thing that it didn't tell was that

I thought of you as it fell

And now you're in my way

_Really? Call me maybe_

Yes really

Play along

_Ugh, fine_

_I told you don't sell my soul for a fucking wish_

_I say fuck pennies and dimes for a kiss_

_And I wasn't looking for this_

_But now you're in my way_

_You know your stare is holding_

Because I know you wearing ripped jeans

And your skin was showing

_It's a hot night and plus the wind is finally blowing_

So where you think you're going Tachi

_Umm….I ain't going nowhere *sighs* and this is crazy_

But I like your hot dog

_WHAT!_

Hey! Sooo~ come over to my house

_I think I should leave now_

I'll like to fuck you

Right now~ baby~

_No shit_

So

Will you call me maybe?

_Well I guess I'll call you later_

Thank you baby

_O.O_

* * *

><p><span>You and lover boy<span>

Was singing call me maybe?

The song the ended with the boy asking for the other boy numba

_Yes the song about that boy and girl_

So how

_If I didn't he wouldn't let me live with myself_

Whatever the fuck you say

You know that your favorite song

_No its not_

Yes it is

_I will cut you_

Ha ill cut you back

But

Hey can you solve this for me, because Pein told me I was wrong

1 b***s

2 **ndom

3 f**k

4 p*n*s

5 pu*s*

6 s*x

_1 is books, 2 is random, 3 is fork_

_4 is pants, 5 is pulse, and 6 is six_

_This was easy_

WTF man I thought its

Boobs, condom, fuck, penis, pussy, and sex

Why the hell you so mature

_Because I have a little brother and kurama to keep me on my toes_

Bullshit

_Don't bitch_

Fuck you

_I fucking love you to Hidan *blows kiss*_

* * *

><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed the chapter<strong>

**What would you like to see next?**

**Remember to review so I can be happy and make super funny chapters for you guys. **

**Hehe, I hope everyone have a nice day. **

**(Note:**

**1-If you have any suggestion to what I should do next, please don't be afraid to tell me in a review**

**:End)**

**See You Next Time Chapter**

**BYEEEEEE~**


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